The Anatomy of a Paragraph
By: Sarah Stratton
If our students memorize an outline or formula instead of learning the anatomy of a paragraph, they will never graduate from the formulaic response that keeps their writing mediocre. Furthermore, if we want our students to continue liking to write (remember–we won them over in the narrative genre with idiom stories and an introduction to WOC techniques), we have to teach writing to the understanding level–not the outline level. (that’s not to say that outlines are not important–you’ll see that I still deem outlines/structure as paramount to learning to write informative essays.) We also have to continue teaching our students more WOC techniques that make their writing better.
Simplified, body paragraphs are comprised of two components–yes, only two–EVIDENCE (information taken from the text in the form of quotes, summaries, or paraphrases) and COMMENTARY (the writer’s own words–connections, explanations, definitions, comments, etc.) That’s it. When we started the informative essay last year, my students lamented how hard it was to write a long informative essay. “There’s only so many facts you can pull from the text,” one student complained. (And he was right!)
“It doesn’t sound good with fact after fact after fact,” another student observed. (She was so right. An essay void of commentary is choppy. I was so glad she noticed that.)
“How long does it have to be? Mine isn’t very long.” What my student recognized is that facts are not enough. Frankly, it isn’t length that really matters here–it is ELABORATION. An essay void of commentary lacks ELABORATION. An essay that lacks ELABORATION does not score well–as it shouldn’t.
The key to a longer essay–one that contains satisfying and through elaboration--has COMMENTARY.
Let’s start from the beginning–
Two elements of a paragraph’s anatomy are fixed–permanent–can’t be moved; they are the topic sentence and the concluding sentence. One opens the paragraph (the topic sentence); the other ends the paragraph (the concluding sentence). Both are primarily composed of commentary; they are the writer’s own connections and conclusions.
I call the topic sentence the mini claim. It’s mini because the thesis statement is the main claim. And all mini claims address the thesis.
Readers should know exactly what a paragraph is about–no secrets–no surprises–no last minute revelations. It is the writer’s JOB to immediately tell the reader what the paragraph will be about. I call it the mini claim because the writer is claiming something to be true.
When my students wrote their informative articles about Machu Picchu last year, they had to pretend to write an article for a travel website. Their JOB was to get travelers interested in traveling to Machu Picchu. While their overall CLAIM (THESIS) was that Machu Picchu was a great travel destination, their mini claims (topic sentences) had to tell why. For example, students might have chosen these 3 topics (historical significance, beauty, & endangered animals) to turn into mini claims:
Machu Picchu has great historical significance. (Body Paragraph 1)
The Inca ruins are beautiful. (Body Paragraph 2)
Machu Picchu boasts numerous endangered species. (Body Paragraph 3)
Topic Sentence RECAP
Because the mini claim/topic sentence is the writer’s own words and connections, it is commentary. It is fixed commentary because it has to open the paragraph. Its JOB is to tell the reader what is going to be proven as TRUE.
Next, the writer’s JOB is to actually PROVE his mini claim. EVIDENCE does just that. Therefore, the writer pulls evidence from the text to prove his mini claim. All EVIDENCE from the text must be cited. Where do citations go in a body paragraph? They go with the EVIDENCE. How can students vary the introduction of their EVIDENCE, so it doesn’t become repetitious?
According to Author’s last name or organization name OR article title OR source number
Author or organization OR article title OR source number
claims
demonstrates
shows
illustrates
proves
Parenthetical citation–right after using the information, the writer puts in parentheses
(“Article title”) OR
(Author’s Last Name) OR
(source #)
Let’s examine my sample paragraph:
Commentary [C]
Evidence [E]
[C] Machu Picchu has great historical significance. Interestingly, Machu Picchu is the remnants of the Inca Civilization. [C] Remember World History in school? [E] Remember studying the ancient Inca Empire, and leaders such as Pachacuti inca Yupanqui and Tupac Ina Yupanqui? (Source 1) [C] Maybe not, but I’m sure at the time you were fascinated with their culture. [C] As unbelievable as this sounds, an ancient civilization, existing hundreds of years ago, still exists in its original splendor. [E] American explorer, Hiram Bingham, describes what he found in his 1911 exploration. [E] He describes “being confronted with the walls of ruined houses built of the finest quality of Inca stonework.” (Source 1) [C] Let me remind you–stonework that was created hundreds of years ago. [E] As Source 1 continues to explain, Bingham wasn’t the first explorer to find the abandoned Inca Civilization, nor was he the first to recognize its magnificence. [E] In the 1530’s, deLeon (a soldier) and Cobo (a Jesuit missionary) journaled about what they experienced and viewed, commenting on “their impressions of Inca rituals, social structure, and engineering.” [E] Becoming an archaeological site because of Bingham’s “careful digging,” Inca graves, some stone dishes, and several bronze implements were discovered.[C] Machu Picchu is most definitely an archaeological site of great significance, but it is so much more than that.
A typical FORMULA for a body paragraph is:
Topic Sentence
Evidence then commentary (3rd and 4th graders may only have one round of this in each paragraph but can continue)
Evidence then commentary (5th and 6th graders may have only two rounds of evidence and commentary but can continue)
Evidence then commentary (7th through 10th graders have at least three rounds of evidence and commentary but can have more)
Concluding or linking sentence
This is only a formula, however. First, we don’t want our students to simply memorize a formula or outline. Second, formulas sound formulaic (boring).
Consequently, if we take the time to teach our students the anatomy of a paragraph–COMMENTARY & EVIDENCE and explain the fixed elements (TOPIC SENTENCE & CONCLUDING SENTENCE) and demonstrate the flexibility they have using the EVIDENCE and COMMENTARY–we can grow writers. They can choose their own path to fill in the middle of the paragraph.
Let’s RECAP mine:
Sentence 1: Mini Claim (commentary–it introduces topic)
Sentence 2: Commentary (LY Opener–it explains)
Sentence 3: commentary (Rhetorical Question–it asks a question)
Sentence 4: Evidence (Rhetorical Question–it asks a question)
Sentence 5: Commentary (it explains)
Sentence 6: Commentary (it explains)
Sentence 7: Evidence ( it summarizes)
Sentence 8: Evidence (it quotes)
Sentence 9: Commentary (it reminds)
Sentence 10: Evidence (it paraphrases)
Sentence 11: Evidence (it quotes)
Sentence 12: Evidence (it quotes)
Sentence 13: Concluding/linking sentence (it both concludes and links to the next body paragraph)
Let’s see what my paragraph would look like without the commentary:
Remember studying the ancient Inca Empire, and leaders such as Pachacuti inca Yupanqui and Tupac Ina Yupanqui? (Source 1) American explorer, Hiram Bingham, describes what he found in his 1911 exploration. He describes “being confronted with the walls of ruined houses built of the finest quality of Inca stonework.” (Source 1) As Source 1 continues to explain, Bingham wasn’t the first explorer to find the abandoned Inca Civilization, nor was he the first to recognize its magnificence. In the 1530’s, deLeon (a soldier) and Cobo (a Jesuit missionary) journaled about what they experienced and viewed, commenting on “their impressions of Inca rituals, social structure, and engineering.” Becoming an archaeological site because of Bingham’s “careful digging,” Inca graves, some stone dishes, and several bronze implements were discovered.
This doesn't cut it, does it?
Most importantly, our commentary helps us glue our facts and evidence together. It helps our evidence match our mini claim/topic sentence. It helps us introduce our topic and concludes our paragraph. How long does it need to be? It needs to be solid and thorough.
Erroneously, we tell our students that the way to elaborate is to use compound and complex sentences. However, that doesn’t help our students with elaboration. Students have to have the evidence and the commentary to put into those sentence types. Compound sentences and complex sentences add sentence variety and sophistication. Yes, they are longer sentences–but students need to know HOW TO ELABORATE before they can put that information into more sophisticated sentences. I’ll touch upon that soon. (Step 7 involves editing and revising for ATLAS.)
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